转角遇到我

The past weekend was rather emotional for me. I don't really know what happened to me, don't know why I reacted the way that I don't usually do. I don't feel as motivated and do not get the support that I really need from him. I hesitated when I was about to call or sms anyone. Yup I was the one who told my friends not to shut me out when she needed help or support, but I couldn't do it myself. I clearly know that my friends will be there for me whenever I needed them, but I was just expecting it from him. Yes, I expect a lot more from him. But I didn't expect him to feel that way towards me. I am unreasonable. Yes, there he goes, stabbing me again right into my heart. I was tearing inside, but still I have to keep it cool, or he will start again, get upset & feels that I am thinking too much again.

Thinking back now, I agree with him, I used to be more understanding but not any more when my family is facing such an issue now. Yup, maybe trans is right, somehow men will just take things differently from us. I felt better when she told me this: "If he really can't give you the motivation you want, don't be disppointed. I'm sure he loves you a lot & wanna help, but maybe he didn't know how to." I felt comforted hearing it & especially when she said she likes to see me being so excited & happy talking about him all the while. I realised how selfish I have been. How could I even expect him to do it right in my way when he didn't experience this before and I didn't tell him how to? How I could I lose confidence in him when even trans believe in him. So guilty now. didn't have much time to even talk to him cos he has been rushing here & there for all the exercises since last week. I just hope he will really understand me, what I am going through & not dislike me even for a bit.