After waiting for the whole day, finally get to spend that few hours with him before he went for his family gathering. I wanted to join so much but there's no invitation from his family and his invitation feels so impromptu and so insincere. Maybe I am too sensitive, but the first time should be more formal isn't it? never mind about that, but i enjoyed that few hours. Having that small but yummy mini cheese cake from fiesta, ichiban sushi with him outdoor is sweet enough!

Oops. Have been too lazy to blog. was happy and enjoying work until wednesday. Don't know what happen that my colleague suddenly stopped talking to me. hhmmm. gonna start planning for a class gathering. Picnic sounds fun! just went to view the video that audrey ling post! my gosh! all the arguing. but i was laughing throughout. my first baking attempt wasn't that successful. shall try again when i'm free! any guinea pigs around? volunteer yourself please.

went for the shape sun last sunday! a sea of pink indeed. better goodie bag, running route wasn't too bad, but bad location for the event! so crowded and wrong signals for the race pack collection, no control over the finisher bracelet. but, I have improved! although with more stopping, but i managed to complete the race in a much better timing! hope to do better for the next race - AHM (Army Half Marathon). =)

Oops have been too lazy to blog especially when I have been addicted to the Hong Kong drama - Gems of life. Nice Show. 2 more episodes to the end of the whole drama! Gigi Lai is so pretty!Argghh I hate school holidays. Its so crowded everywhere! Can't even book a room for KTV, can't book a badminton court till after next week. Started work without having enough rest. Feel so tired every morning to work until today. Feel so cheerful today and I don't know why.

Went through the old photo albums with my sis just now. those were the days. My mum used to tell me I love to smile as a child, thats why the adults love to pinch my cheeks. did all the funny poses last time. Probably explains why I have such limited ideas now. =p

Yay! my exams are finally all over. tired. feel so drained when I had 3 major papers in a row. just wanted to do nothing and rest. and I did today. =) went to watch Monsters vs Aliens. very cute! haha had a good laugh at that blue, brainless thingy. haha. can't wait to sat, where i can have a proper date, proper shopping without thinking about studies, looking forward to sunday where I can see the kids! haven't seen them for 3 weeks. both can chat on the phone with us already! time really flies. That silly binbin can really make me laugh out loud. so cute! she de-stress me when i was studying. haha.

Time waits for no one. indeed. have been trying to catch up on my revision but I guess i'm just too panicky. can't seem to stay focus and concentrate. feel guilty if i go swim, jog, or even step out doing something else. Feel guilty not having enough time for him, the girls and my family. but I will make it up to them after my exams. there are so many things that I want to do after my exams. Just hope that I will have enough time to do so.

I think I saw yanlin on the bus on my way home from school yesterday. but wasn't very sure and didn't dare to acknowledge, plus the fact that i have super low self esteem lately. stress symptoms?

He is tired. The second time in which I have seen him so angry. I start to question myself why. But all the negative thoughts just came to my mind. I will have to keep reminding myself that I should and I can control my emotions. On the bright side, I think I did succeed. She finally break the news to him. I start to feel for him. Feel guilty that he has to go through this. A pity that she is giving up someone so honest and well-tempered for someone she might hardly know of? But I do want her to be happy be it now or many years down the road. Just keeping my fingers crossed and hope that she did find the right one for her.

Thinking of something happier, I went to queue up for the free Ben & Jerry ice-cream cone today. Felt so satisfied after eating. Haven had ice-cream in a while (although I have cravings for it a few times already). I guess it isn't true afterall that chocolates can make someone happier. At least it doesn't work for me. But exercising does help. Arghh I wish I have the time to.

I have doubts on how much they know me just like that doubt they have on me.

Anyway, gave him a great surprise on monday. efforts have paid off. was busy the whole day. Preparing him his favourite, and cooked him the mee sua that I once told him that I will cook for him annually for as long as we are together. He appreciated my effort and enjoyed the food. that is what that makes me happy. Finally, all settled and can focus on my studies. no more distractions?

May be not. small things that make people angry, that made him throw things. I have lived with him for the whole of my life but I have never seen him this angry. my first and hope that it will be the last. angry that he shouted at me when I didn't make mistakes. No one knows why he is so angry. But I keep having the feeling it was because of me. I am not over-reacting nor over-sensitive. I have affirmed it already. Somethings ought to be left unsaid. It all depends on one word - Trust. What more can I say when they don't trust me? I will only keep quiet now. rebutting doesn't help and will only make things worse. I have learn it the hard way. I know that they are concerned but sometimes the way they show it will just make me feel like running away.

I just hope that there will be one day (hoping it to be soon) that they will see how nice and caring he is towards me like some of my friends do.